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Take 5: Michelle Li shares personal journey with infertility

Take 5's Michelle Li is excited to share that a chapter of her struggle with infertility is coming to a close – she's pregnant!
Take 5's Michelle Li with her husband Jim Van Dillen. (Photo: Michelle Li)

My husband Jim and I are happy to announce that we are having a baby boy after several years of infertility treatments.

We had been in the mindset that maybe we wouldn’t have children and I remember my husband saying, “Michelle, you are enough for me.” It was so beautiful and heartbreaking at the same time, but we still kept moving forward and hoping that science and prayers would ultimately bring us good news.

It’s hard to believe that we are now able to tell people we are going to have a baby, but it also reminds me how far our state and nation needs to go to ensure that people have the right to choose the way they build their families.

It is National Infertility Awareness Week, and there is a lot going on in the world of infertility. If you thought a week like this doesn’t impact you, you might want to read up. Chances are, it could impact you or your future children.

Did you know people are throwing egg freezing parties in Seattle? There are also novel studies about marijuana and its impact on sperm. And a recent law passed right under our noses about the right for couples to hire a surrogate. This was big news on the infertility front.

The National Institutes of Health now reports that one in six couples experience infertility. In the last five years or so, I’ve seen the number go from one in 10 for couples to one in eight to now one in six. The numbers are not trending in our favor. You have to ask – why is this happening?

I won’t get into it, but some research suggests that chemicals and toxins all around us might be playing a role. PCBs, GMS, BPS – we could go through the alphabet of things that don’t belong in our bodies. From what we eat to where we work – some research shows all could be contributing factors.

A recent Newsweek cover story showed that sperm counts are at an all-time low, plummeting at alarming rates. The World Health Organization now defines infertility as a disease, adding that infertility is a reproductive system failure. And it’s one shared equally between women and men. That’s just the physical part.

Alice Domar, the director of Integrative Care in Boston, says the psychological impact of infertility is extremely profound. In fact, her studies show, that after a couple of years, women with infertility issues have the same level of anxiety and depression as those with cancer, HIV, and heart disease.

When I read that, I thought my heart was going to burst because that is how I had been feeling.

Jim and I have tried to have a baby for nearly as long as we've been married, which is nine years. We've taken all the tests, all the shots, and all the pills for our unexplained infertility.

By the way, we considered adoption. I am adoptee and am very pro-adoption. But that's not a story for this week, and frankly, everyone should have the right to choose how they want to build their family.

We also feel they should be supported. Infertility is a disease, not a choice. It impacts millions, including 150,000 people in Washington. However, it's still not covered by insurance in Washington state unless you are a veteran who had combat injuries (and even that is about to run out).

Fifteen other states like Massachusetts, Illinois and Hawaii have mandated that insurance covers infertility – which again, is a disease. So why isn't Washington? Why are we behind?

This week a lot of issues will be coming up during National Infertility Awareness Week. This also happens to be the week my husband and I are closing a chapter on our infertility journey.

That is because we are finally able to announce that we are having a baby! Our last round of in vitro fertilization worked, and we are so grateful to Dr. Paul Lin and the staff at Seattle Reproductive Medicine.

Despite our happiness, we have extra anxiety and feel bittersweet for the other people who are struggling out there. We hear you, we see you, and we support you. And we hope that one day Washington will too.

So this week, I leave you with some calls to action. If you want to do something for yourself, your friends or maybe even your namesake, then I encourage you to ask lawmakers to support Americans who struggle to build their families. Ask lawmakers to make the bill permanent which provides IVF and adoption coverage for our war veterans with service-related infertility.

In the meantime, you can help by just being supportive. Sometimes that means not offering advice. Trust me when I say people with infertility have heard it all before. "Don't stress,” “just relax,” “just adopt." Those sentiments may mean well, but they often don't help. Try listening, offer to go to their appointments or learn about infertility, because this disease is more common than you think.

If you want more information in Washington, I encourage you to check out resolve.org. The group in Washington has been an amazing wealth of information and support. And it continually advocates for people to have the right to build their family in the way they desire.

Read the full series on National Infertility Awareness Week:

Women take fertility crash course at egg freezing parties

Chronic marijuana use could impact fertility, UW study says

Personal experience prompts senator to push surrogacy law

New easy to use fertility tracking tool

Meet a woman who's advocating for your rights to build a family

Couple who won free IVF cycle is pregnant

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