We often hear the phrase, “you can’t change other people, you can only change yourself," and yet people do change all the time. So, what's going on there?
Executive coach, bestselling author, and host of the Bregman Leadership Podcast, Peter Bregman, and health and executive coach and bestselling author, Howie Jacobson, Ph.D., both authors of the book, "You Can Change Other People: The Four Steps to Help Your Colleagues, Employees—Even Family—Up Their Game," joined New Day NW to talk about why we often have a hard time changing others and a new way to approach those difficult conversations.
The four steps:
Step 1: Shift from Critic to Ally
Step 2: Identify an Energizing Outcome
Step 3: Find the Hidden Opportunity
Step 4: Create a Level-10 Plan
About the authors:
Peter Bregman is the CEO of Bregman Partners. He coaches, writes, teaches, and speaks, mostly about leadership and about life. His sweet spot is as a strategic thought partner to successful people who care about being exceptional leaders and stellar human beings. Peter is recognized as the #1 executive coach in the world by Leading Global Coaches. He coaches C-level executives in many of the world’s premier organizations, including Citi, CBS, Mars, Showtime, AMC Networks, Allianz, Electronic Arts, Pearson, and Twilio, to name a few. He is also a ski coach on the weekends in the winter (but not the #1 ski coach in the world). Peter is the bestselling author of five books including "Leading with Emotional Courage" and "18 Minutes." His work appears frequently in Harvard Business Review, BusinessWeek, Fast Company, Psychology Today, Forbes, CNN, and NPR. Peter created and leads the #1 leadership development program in the world, the Bregman Leadership Intensive, and trains leaders and managers on the Four Steps through the Bregman Leadership Coach Training program. Peter is the host of the Bregman Leadership Podcast, with over 1.5 million downloads. He has given four TEDx talks and regularly delivers keynotes for associations like SHRM and companies, including Coca-Cola, the Discovery Network, L’Oréal, Deloitte, and Fidelity, among others. Peter earned his M.B.A. from Columbia University and his B.A. from Princeton University. Peter lives in New York City with his wife, three kids, and new puppy, Maeve (his first dog ever). He reads, runs, skis, bikes, hikes, and tries to follow his own advice.
Howie Jacobson, PhD, is an executive coach to clients ranging from startup founders to established and rising Fortune 100 leaders. He is Director of Coaching at Bregman Partners, and Head Coach at the Healthy Minds Initiative. Howie is the author of "AdWords For Dummies"; co-author of "Sick to Fit" and "Use the Weight to Lose the Weight," with Josh LaJaunie; contributing author to "Whole: Rethinking the Science of Nutrition" and "The Low Carb Fraud", both by T. Colin Campbell, Ph.D.; and "Proteinaholic" by Garth Davis, M.D. Howie’s writings have also appeared in Fast Company and Harvard Business Review. He hosts the Plant Yourself Podcast, where he interviews remarkable people engaged in healing at the individual, institutional, and planetary level. Howie earned his M.P.H. and Ph.D. in Health Studies from Temple University and his B.A. from Princeton University. He lives in rural North Carolina with his wife, where he writes, gardens, plays Ultimate Frisbee, runs, fiddles, and loads the dishwasher correctly.