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'Hesidating' and 'dry dating' trending among singles right now

Melanie and Seth Studley, hosts of the "Anatomy of Marriage" podcast, joined the show to talk about dating trends and more. #newdaynw

SEATTLE — With life returning back to somewhat normal since the pandemic, you may be putting your dating and social life on the back burner. Relationships are always hard but the pandemic did not make it any easier. 

Melanie and Seth Studley, hosts of the "Anatomy of Marriage" podcast, joined New Day to dive deeper into dating trends.

They said they are seeing a lot of "hesidating" which is the combination of being hesitant to date again and fearful of getting back out there after the pandemic, which may have come from being less social than we were before. 

If this is you, vulnerability and inviting others in can create an environment for you to prosper with your dating life. 

"Put yourself out there and usually you will get what you want back," said Seth, a licensed marriage and family therapist. 

Start by just getting yourself out there. This may look like starting to say, "Hi," meeting new people or getting involved in new groups. 

Another trend they're seeing is "dry dating." If you are tired of going out, drinking a ton and waking up the next day feeling worn down, switch it up.

When you take alcohol out of the equation you could be introduced to new things and people you might not have before. Melanie loves this approach because you get to discover who someone really is and you get to know them on a deeper level right out of the gate. 

Even couples who have been together for a long time can try this approach and step out of their comfort zone of always sharing a glass of wine together. 

Some simple tips for getting to know someone before you start dating are examining their characteristics and finding out what makes them, them. Melanie said people are interested in others' emotional intelligence because you will learn why people think the way they do, how they control their emotions, and if it's compatible with you. 

The "Anatomy of Marriage" podcast is Melanie and Seth's story, who at one point in their relationship went through a hard time right after giving birth to their second son. They recorded their arguments for other couples to hear how they worked through it, examining why their marriage was failing and how they could fix it together without wanting to get a divorce. 

"It was so bad. I literally gave him a black eye," Melanie said. "We were trying to find resources, but everything felt so vanilla."

But the recording turned out to be one of their biggest teachers. 

They wanted to be able to talk about things like spousal abuse after seeking interviews from professionals who did not want to talk about that topic. 

Melanie and Seth dive into parenting, relationships, family of origin, sex and intimacy, finances and all the other topics that make up a successful relationship on their podcast with over 500 episodes.  

Segment Producer Joseph Suttner. Watch New Day Northwest 11 AM weekdays on KING 5 and streaming live on KING5.com. Contact New Day.

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