Mark Ortman spent the last three decades as a communication consultant, mediator and workshop leader. He offers a workshop at Bellevue College titled, "It's Not What We Say, It's How We Say It!"

In all of his studies and research, he concluded there are 12 words that push people's buttons.

"I learned from a decade of mediation (divorce, parenting plans, and workplace conflicts) that certain phrases and words tend to stir strong emotions and resistance when used because they imply judgment, criticism or blame. The old approach" said Ortman.

The 12 words are listed below:

You(you’re)

Can’t

Never

No

Should

Could have

But

Have to

Shouldn’t

Didn’t

Always

Don’t

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