The following is an e-mail by former Sonics Director of Broadcasting Rick Turner to several people he knows within Sonics circles. We asked him to share it with us and he agreed. This is his view of the Sonics divorce from the City of Seattle as seen through the eyes of a child. It is presented here unedited.

I’ve heard many people describe their feelings today using death, murder and dying as ways to evaluate their emotions about the Sonics leaving for Oklahoma. I see it as a less macabre but equally devastating loss that resonates with anyone that has dealt with grief in their life. My intentions are not to convince anyone to feel grief about this, who doesn’t… or to even try to explain why those of us that do… do. I did that previously. It is just a way to try and explain why the settlement here between Bennett, the NBA and the City of Seattle feels to some of us like a familiar betrayal.

Any child of divorce can relate to the feelings that percolate after hearing news of the Sonics leaving today. Memories of that tumultuous time in my own life came flooding back as I tried to analyze how I feel about this team leaving. Like my parents divorce, I knew it was inevitable and I knew that it was probably for the best; long before it ever happened… but those thoughts don’t make it hurt any less. The COD Club (Children of Divorce) shares a unique perspective that our, in some cases more fortunate brethren, COMP (Children of Married Parents) kids don’t really get.

I’ve talked to a few “COMP’ers”. They are so damned rational. They say, “Let ‘em go”, “Who cares”, “I don’t like the NBA anyway”, “We’ll just get another team in a few years”… They just don’t get it. They don’t understand the betrayal.

Let me help them try and understand. Here’s what happens.

At first you cover your ears, hide under a pillow and hope that the fighting will stop. You do your best to ignore the dysfunction surrounding you everyday and pretend that everything is fine.

Then, it can’t be ignored any longer and you start rationalizing. You try to come up with ways in your head where things will miraculously fix themselves on their own and things will go back to the way they used to be. At least the way that you remember them.

There comes a time later, when things become so desperate and so bad that something has to happen. A change has to be made. Someone moves out and this action sets in motion a string of events that alters the course of your life forever. When that happens, nothing is ever the same from that day forward.

After the drama of this event, there is an awkward calm that comes over you for a short period as the daily tumult of confrontation subsides and your thoughts turn to hope of reconciliation, repair and rescue of the relationship.

Then reality sets in. They’re not coming back and you get mad. Questions flood your mind… “How could they leave me?”, “What did I do wrong?”, “What could I have done to make them stay?”. Anger, betrayal and hate set up tent in the yard of your mind’s windmills.

In our case, Seattle’s NBA team left for another woman. And she’s ugly. What was he thinking? He left for HER? I don’t want anything to do with them.

Anger turns to misery. Misery turns to sadness and after a while, sadness turns to acceptance. The Sonics are gone. They aren’t coming back.

Nothing in Seattle’s professional basketball life will ever be the same. A new “step-team” will not be the same. It can be fun and ‘nice’. Just like a step parent. But as us COD’s know, it’s just not the same. You COMP’ers will say that we should give them a break and embrace them in to our family. We shouldn’t hold a grudge for something that was out of our control and by the way, can’t we see that everyone is happier now anyway?

So, we’ll get dressed up, smile at the wedding and might, in time, learn to really like this “step-team”. But we know not to get too close. What’s to prevent another break up? So we agree to like you and support you and to be a part of your life… but you’ll never again have the complete and unconditional love that you once did. We can’t take that chance.

For many, if not most, this analogy is probably a long stretch to understand. But I do think that it explains why a settlement with the city of Seattle feels to some as nothing more than alimony. What happens to the kids?

The crux of the Sonics argument in court was that their relationship with the City of Seattle was nothing more than a bad marriage. I never bought into that claim. I thought that the “specific-performance” clause made it altogether unique to any case I had heard of previously in an owner-tenant relationship. The way the City claimed that it was impossible to put a dollar figure on what NBA basketball brings to a city was spot on. But here I am now, again, in the middle of a broken marriage… watching from under a coffee table as the Sonics walk out the door.

I knew this day was coming. They’ve been fighting for years. I screamed, “WILL YOU PLEASE STOP FIGHTING!” but they didn’t. I tried to ignore it. It wouldn’t go away. Wally Walker couldn’t make it stop, Howard Shultz couldn’t make it stop and Clay Bennett couldn’t make it stop. I buried my head under a pillow. I heard Bennett say that he wanted to stay. I tried to believe him but never really did.

Then, in November, Bennett finally filed for divorce.

Now we REALLY have to do something. He is serious. Maybe we can save it before it ever gets to court. Hope and Desperation team up and are working overtime. Any ship in the night might be the one that will rescue you. Anyone… H-E-L-P! Ballmer, Gregoire, Griffin, Shultz, Nichols, Walker, Gorton, Allen, Whitsett, Chopp… Anyone, H-E-L-P!!!

But it’s too late…

Tomorrow, they move out. Pro basketball as we know it will never be the same. Leave the name, keep the name… it doesn’t really matter. Take the banners and the records, I don’t care anymore. Did you know that the Oklahoma Sonics’ all-time leading scorer is Gary Payton? Or that George Karl has the all-time best winning percentage in Oklahoma history? What about the impact that Oklahoma great, Spencer Haywood had on shaping the future of professional basketball?

I’ll cling to my own memories. Like the time the Sonics and I went to Disneyland together or when we used to go camping or when they came to my piano recital. Those are great times to remember and no one can take those away but I know now that they will never return.

If I get a new “step-team”, I’m sure that I will learn to like them over time. I’ll be happy that the community is happy. And I know that it is something that we need. We don’t want to die alone and without an NBA team. We’ll call them the Sonics but everyone will know that they really aren’t the “Sonics”. We’ll cheer with them and curse them and cry with them but we will never again have what we are losing tomorrow.

All I can say to David Stern is that…

He may re-marry my city… but I’ll never call him dad.