Video: 68 people murdered by abuser in Wash. State in last 2 years

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SEATTLE - Nancy Slater was swept off her feet when she married for the second time in 2001.

"Lots of gifts and dates and diamonds and jewelry," she said.

But the relationship slowly disintegrated, with her new husband becoming jealous and possessive.

"They're such tiny steps with power and control that you really don't realize that you're being brainwashed, if you will," said Nancy.

Two years into the marriage, Nancy knew she was in danger.

"When he threw me against a sliding glass door and broke my nose," she said.

She moved out, but was soon persuaded to return. When she finally did leave for good, her husband tried to strangle her.

She survived that attack, but says she never truly felt safe until her ex died 18 months later.

She still remembers the terror of those years, which is why she's glad the Washington State Coalition against domestic violence just released a study that could help other victims.

It focuses on the 68 domestic violence murders recorded in our state during the past two years, and found many of the victims did file protection orders shortly before they were killed.

At the King County Superior Courthouse, when a person files for a protection order, they do have access to advocates, rooms where they can meet, and a wall full of information to help them out. But unfortunately, this is not the norm in Washington State.

In fact, a whopping 8 percent of Washington courts that issue these orders do not have advocacy services available on site, so victims are often left without the information and support they need to plan for their abuser's reaction.

Another finding is that most victims turn to their neighbors before the police or courts.

"And those people were concerned and they wanted to help, but most of them appeared to not really know what to do,” said Kelly Starr of the Washington State Coalition Against Domestic Violence.

Advocates say that means everyone needs to be educated about domestic violence.

Nancy, who has moved on with her life, agrees.

"Do a safety plan. Talk to the experts. Talk to friends," she said.

If you or someone you know is dealing with a violent situation, there is help 24 hours a day. You can call the Washington State Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-562-6025.