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Lavish ceremonies aren't just for first-timers
Can a bride wear white on her second wedding day? Should a bride and a groom who've been married before and have everything they need to set up a household still register for gifts?  They can and they should, according to wedding experts, who note that the trend toward bigger, more lavish weddings is not confined to first-time brides and grooms.
Of the 2.4 million marriages a year, 43 percent are remarriages for the bride, the groom or both. And the average size of the second-time wedding is between 75 and 100 guests, according to Bride Again magazine. In times past, brides and grooms who'd been married before often went to the justice of the peace for a simple civil ceremony the second time around. These days, it's common for second-time brides to opt for the long white gown and the big church ceremony with all the trimmings, just like on their first trip to the altar. Beth Ramirez, founder of Anaheim, Calif.-based Bride Again, believes that since the stigma of divorce has been lessened, it no longer casts a shadow on the second wedding. "I think women are now feeling they've come through a difficult first marriage, most likely a worse divorce, they've put their life together and fallen in love again, and that's cause to celebrate," said Ramirez, who founded the magazine after planning her own second wedding. In fact, there's only one hard-and-fast second-wedding taboo: no blusher veils. "That's still reserved for the first-time bride," Ramirez said. "That signifies virginity, the idea that the veil is lifted and the bride blushes." Judy Feenstra, a wedding consultant from Costa Mesa, Calif., planned a second wedding last year for a couple who had 600 guests - so many that the ceremony had to be held on the church lawn, another for a bride in her 60s who wore a long, white lace off-the-shoulder dress with a train, and yet another for a couple, both grandparents, who love to dance. "Their first dance was Don Henley's 'This Love,'" she said. "It doesn't matter how old you are, you still feel all the romantic feelings that a 16- or 18-year-old feels." Ramirez, whose average readers are 38- to 42-year-olds, said weddings and marriages don't get any easier the second time around. In fact, they often get more complicated because in 65 percent of couples getting remarried, one or both of the partners has children. "When you're a parent and you're getting remarried, the first people you tell are your kids," she said. Often, children and grandchildren are included in the ceremony. "Many times when the couple is doing ring exchange, the children are called up to be part of it," Feenstra said. "The parents have purchased a bracelet or a necklace or a ring or something appropriate and present it to them. It's the whole family getting married, not just the bride and groom." © - Orange County Register |
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