Want to look local? Ten tips to fake it 'til you make it in Seattle

10 things you shouldn't do if you want to look like you're from Seattle. 1) Do not, under any circumstances, say 'Pike's Market'. It's Pike Place Market. Repeat after us. Pike Place Market.

SEATTLE, WASH. - SEATTLE, WASH. -

1) Do not, under any circumstances, say ‘Pike’s Market’. It’s Pike Place Market. Repeat after us. Pike Place Market.

2)  Pacific Northwesterners really do hate umbrellas. Wear a Hawks beanie instead. Rain or shine.

*Addendum to 2 - Don't complain about the rain. Try quiet stoicism instead. Very local.

3)  Don't hate seafood. Pretend to like it. Bonus points for effectively pretending to like oysters.

 4) We don't add 'the' to freeway names. It's never The 405 or The 101. That's LA talk!

5)  Do not pronounce the big mountain to the south of the city ruh-near. It's Rainier. As in rain. Or just The Mountain.

6) It’s Nordstrom. Not Nordstrom’s.

7) Do not start your car early on a ferry. It’s a rookie move. Instead, wait until the guy in front of     you turns his car on AND MOVES FORWARD. Then you can turn your car on. This is also fun       because it makes your passengers from out of town really nervous. 

 *Addendum to 7 – Never cut in a ferry line. That’s punishable by death in Washington.

8) Nobody gets super dressed up to go out at night here. This is Seattle, not Las Vegas.  Louboutins don't  work that well here. Try Danskos instead. Or Converses.

9) No, six and a half dollars isn’t too much to pay for a pint of IPA brewed with 3 different kinds of organic hops that was fermented in a tank made by an artisan welder.  Nor is it too much to pay  for a machiatto lovingly crafted from shade grown, individually nurtured coffee beans bearing signed foam art on top.  Just grit your teeth, slap down the 10 spot (because tip) and drink your treat very slowly. 

10) Do not miss Evening. We’ll show you places to check out, restaurants to visit, people to meet, and all kinds of reasons to be proud to call this place home, whether you’re new or have been here long enough to remember when microbrew pints were $3.50.

© 2017 KING-TV


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