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Learning: Promoting healthy first relationships

04:02 PM PDT on Wednesday, April 9, 2008

By CAROLYN DOUGLAS / KING 5 News

A fussy baby can be a challenge for the most mature and experienced parent, but try dealing with all that parenting entails - as a teen.

Sixteen-year-old Stephanie Morales is getting one-on-one training on how to form a strong relationship with her six-month-old son, Josiah.

Sixteen-year-old Stephanie Morales is getting one-on-one training on how to form a strong relationship with her six-month-old son, Josiah.

She and early childhood consultant Jenny McSharry are both intently focused on Josiah. They watch videotape of Jenny's last visit.

Together, they observe all the ways Stephanie is reading Josiah's cues, responding to his feelings and needs, and, in the process, building the foundation for how he'll relate to others later in life.

"You helped him manage his feelings," Jenny tells Stephanie.

Because of Stephanie's age and situation, she is considered a highly stressed parent, and qualifies for this specialized assistance through the agency "Promoting First Relationships." Its aim is to make sure the pressures on Stephanie don't interfere with Josiah's social and emotional development.

"Stress makes it more difficult to parent in the way we want to parent. As I said, almost every parent we've worked with over many years we've done Promoting First Relationships parents want to be good parents. But because of the stresses in their own lives, it does make it more difficult," said Dr. Jean Kelly, a professor at the University of Washington's Department of Family and Child Nursing.

KING

Sixteen-year-old Stephanie Morales gets one-on-one training on how to form a strong relationship with her six-month-old son, Josiah.

Dr. Kelly says research shows early intervention with the "highly stressed" population pays off.

"That if parents get help early on in their parenting, and they get support, that relationship between the parent and the child can change very quickly," she says.

The program made a big difference for Tammy Casiday. When her daughter, grace, was just a baby, Tammy was working a graveyard shift, going to school, and struggling to survive as a single mom short on money and sleep.

"The thing I learned the most was how to interact with my child and to let it be natural," she said.

Tammy says the training she received strengthened the bond between her and Grace, who is now 3.

It's a nice benefit for mom, but a lifelong gift for Grace, and her ability to form healthy relationships.

"You're really laying the foundation for empathy. You are teaching him empathy and that's really powerful," said Dr. Kelly.

The program focuses on the positive things parents are doing.

"We want to build parents confidence. You know, people want to do a job that they can do well, Parents want to do well, so we build on that positive. Then we also help parents, as I said, really think about - really wonder about - the child's feelings and needs and how to meet those needs in a consistent and sensitive way," said Dr. Kelly.

The intense training typically runs for 10 weeks. The benefits of these healthy first relationships can last a lifetime.

"Promoting First Relationships" first began in the late 1990s with families who were homeless. It now involves caregivers experiencing a variety of stressful situations, from financial difficulties to a lack of social support.

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