Tory's Journey: He hopes to choose the way he dies

Since Washington voters approved the "Death with Dignity" Act, Initiative 1000, 15 people have requested medication to end their lives. Six have died after receiving that medication, but the state is not able to tell us how many of those people killed themselves.

A Seattle-area man expects - and hopes - to control the way he dies. His name is Tory Plaisance, and he wants the option of dying in a way, in a place, and at a time of his own choosing. And he wants us to document his journey.

He is being treated for cancer in his colon, liver, pelvic wall and lungs and has fought AIDS for more than 20 years. But he's finding out that questions of life and death aren't so easily answered, that his case might not fit the requirements of our new law, at least not right now.

And his plans have been complicated by a recent positive diagnosis that his tumors may be shrinking.

"That's just how I'm kind of torn right now, like 'Yay I could live' and 'Damn I could live," he said.

For now, life is still about staying alive. That means the seemingly endless supply of pills and the lollypop painkillers and the pain itself, all part of the daily grind.

Just four months ago, Tory's doctor wrote a letter saying he had a year or less to live. Now a relatively positive CAT scan makes the future less certain.

"I'd already gotten used to "OK this is how much time I have. This is what I have to do before I go, and then it all gets screwed up," he said.

He still works as an overseas shipping coordinator, five days a week when he's physically able. He still turns out to support his old softball team in their league games and tournaments.

He dotes on his cat, Jewell, tends his balcony garden and keeps his Renton condominium spotless.

And he still wants the option of dying his own way.

On a visit to the KING 5 newsroom he told us why he'll use Washington's new law, if he can.

"I mean I'd like to go out in my sleep, nice and peaceful and happy, but cancer just doesn't work that way, maybe it will, but it's nice to know I have an option and I can leave this place in peace and comfort and with some dignity," he said.

The Seattle Cancer Care Alliance has denied us permission to videotape his chemotherapy sessions, even though Tory wants us to, citing privacy concerns for doctors and patients.

SCCA gave us this statement:

"This story is about a person who has publicly acknowledged his wish to eventually end his own life via the state's Death With Dignity Act. Our concern is that any footage or images taken inside the SCCA in conjunction with this story could leave viewers with the misperception that the Act is carried out inside a clinic or hospital when it is not. It could also leave viewers with a misperception that the Act is carried out with an infusion of medication when it is not."

It shows that Tory Plaisance isn't the only one struggling with the new law. Doctors and medical organizations are as well.

"Many just don't know and they won't know until they have a patient in front of them," said Dr. Helene Starks, who studies and teaches medical ethics at the University of Washington. She sees physicians facing new choices in different ways.

"Some people that are very clear that they will never participate in this, and some people that are pretty clear that they will, and by and large most people are in the middle hoping they won't have to deal with it," she said.

To start the official process, Tory would need two doctors to say in writing that he will die in six months or less.

Tory said he doesn't think his doctor will do it for him.

"No he won't. I know he won't. He told me he wouldn't," he said.

So he may have to shop for the right doctors if he plans to control his death.

And Dr. Starks has heard of other patients doing the same, coping with a gray area in the controversial new law.

Dr. Starks said a six-month prognosis can't be very precise.

"It's a lousy science, it really is, especially at six months," she said.